The daily grind of a working witch or wizard is actually the craziest government job ever – and we want in.
Within the walls of the Ministry of Magic (in Great Britain at least) you’ll find departments for all kinds of fabulous, whimsical things – like Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, Magical Games and Sports, the Department of Mysteries, and the Department of Magical Transportation.
The idea of flushing ourselves in and out of toilet everyday is the only task we’re not mad about. Uh, JK, can we enter through the visitor’s telephone booth instead?
Men in Black
From the outside HQ is just another ordinary building. But inside? It’s crawling with a kooky mixture of agents and aliens alike. Designed to resemble a 1960s airport, the interior reflects the ‘space-craze’ era – moon missions and UFO sightings.
Yes, agents must conform to super strict rules – hello suit, goodbye family – but they’re also one step closer to unlocking the secrets of the universe. Our opinion? Worth it.
Um, it’s the friendliest scare factory in the world. Of course it’s on our list.
Filled with a plethora of bright, approachable monsters (mainly), doorways that take you from one side of the world to the other in a second, and catchy musical numbers (‘Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!’), Monsters, Inc. has got everything going for it.
Yeah, the boss may be a two-faced crab man, and the administrator is a sarcastic slug, and staff are in constant danger of being shaved down by the Child Detection Agency – but getting to cuddle Sulley seems like a fair trade-off.
Though we’re not about to board an Oceanic flight anytime soon, the airline’s doomed history does have a rational explanation.
Best known as the initial catalyst in Lost, Oceanic Airlines is actually a lot more prolific than it seems. Before Jack Shephard and John Locke, the airline almost went down in 1996’s Executive Decision, and has since loaned drama to Castle, The X-Files, Greys Anatomy, Fringe, Chuck, Alias and Futurama.
The ironies of Oceanic’s associations are surprisingly good for business; no real airline wants to be linked to a crash, so Oceanic does a lot of fake trade. Plane tickets are super cheap – just don’t expect to get a return.
For this list, we considered a bunch of fictional companies from video games (Umbrella Corporation, Vault-Tec, Fontaine Futuristics) then settled on a fictional company that creates video games instead.
Featured in Black Mirror’s Playtest, Saito Gemu’s latest horror game turns your own memories against you – taking virtual reality to a new and chilling level. Spooky associations with another Black Mirror episode (White Bear) are implied in the logo, hinting that the company may be involved with more than ‘just’ video games.
In an age of untapped possibility, Saito Gemu’s eerily plausible VR hits a little too close to home. We’ll just stick to Mario Kart, thanks.
Batman and Bruce Wayne’s hefty inheritance go hand-in-hand.
Wayne Enterprises – sometimes WayneCorp – is a diversified, multinational conglomerate chaired by everybody’s favourite DC playboy billionaire (though Lucius Fox takes care of business while Batman shoots his biannual sequel).
With a branch in almost every industry – construction, tech, oil, mining, retail, healthcare – it’s a wonder Wayne Enterprises hasn’t just bought the whole damn planet already.
So how does Wayne Enterprises measure up to Stark Industries?
Probably a smidge better financially. As for the heroics, well. We didn’t know being rich was a super power.
If you watched Toy Story and didn’t suddenly want to eat pizza inside Saturn, then were you even watching the same movie?
As our second Pixar classic on the list, this fictional family restaurant is referenced in almost every Pixar film. That includes A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, Cars, Ratatouille, Wall-E and even Brave. (Yeah, they worked it into a medieval plotline.)
You can grab a Mega Gulp, whack an alien, and fish for a prize from The Claw. Sounds like a potential franchise to us. Just sayin’.
Thanks to the brilliance of a few clucky hens, this franchise never actually came to fruition in the narrative – but the lady did have a billboard AND a factory made, so A+ for effort.
Tweedy’s devotion to her business literally sees her chase down a plane piloted by chickens. No hesitation. No question. No settling for frozen chicken fillets.
It may seem poor to praise the brainchild of one of stop motion’s most infamous villains, but without Mrs Tweedy and her nasty chicken pies, we’d never have gotten one of the greatest cinematic escapes of all time. No fowl play there.
This intra-solar conglomerate is led by an arrogant, malevolent, take-no-prisoners, lady-boss. Yay, girl power! (FYI not all women in business are two-faced monsters.)
Mom’s Friendly Robot Company first hit it big in 2972, making MomCorp one of the richest corporations on Earth. Since then, it’s been responsible for the design and manufacture of multiple robot models, ‘Friendly Delivery’ companies, appliances and oil (Mombil).
Breaking Bad’s flagship fast food chain specialises in fried chicken and shady trade.
As a subsidiary of German Madrigal Electromotive, Los Pollos holds main offices in Hannover, Saxony and Houston, Texas. Soooo, when you realise the very real and not-at-all dodgy physicist Werner Heisenberg hails from Deutschland, Walter White’s alias seems pretty clever.
We’d never buy property from this hilarious real estate company, but we’d probably tuck into a Bluth frozen banana.
Founded in 1953 by family patriarch George, Bluth Company can hardly stay afloat – let alone out of prison. But is that really a surprise when the team is made up of Bluths?
Though the company may not have been upfront with its major dealings, it has taught us some valuable lessons in business: everyone can and should blog, justice is blind, and there’s always money in the banana stand.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Two words. Chocolate river.
Curious, whimsical and downright delicious, Willy Wonka’s mystical chocolate factory is something we’ve always wanted to take a bite out of. While fans may be torn between the ‘71 version and the ‘05 remake, we’re not fussy. Get us in to either one through the great glass elevator, and we’ll be satisfied. (Then sick.)
Hey – has anybody figured out what a snozzberry tastes like?
A luxury visit to this ‘adventure’ amusement park typically costs $40,000 – per day.
HBO’s recent reboot of the 1973 cult classic brings new life to the park’s… new life. Ironically, the rebranded series undergoes (spoiler!) it’s own rebrand during the first season, making the whole show very meta.
So whom do we have to thank for Westworld’s genius?
Michael Crichton. Yeah. The guy responsible for Jurassic Park.
Generally, we’re not ones to make assumptions – but it looks like someone had a traumatic experience at a theme park once.
OK, so it’s just a 7-Eleven parody – but they don’t stock Squishees and chilli dogs at our local servo.
Choosing just one company from The Simpsons was a tough gig. Ultimately the Kwik-E-Mart pipped the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Duff Beer and Krusty Burger to the post, because it just seemed… friendlier.
Things may be overpriced and out of date, but at least Apu is nice about it. And hey, we love supporting local businesses.
Got a fictional company you love? Share it with us in the comments!